Bullying STOPS Here


Bullying STOPS Here

NCVBC is proud to partner with CEVA and other regional clubs in their effort to recognize, address and prevent bullying.


There is an important need to draw a distinction between behavior that is rude, behavior that is mean, and behavior that is characteristic of bullying.

RUDE = inadvertently saying or doing something that hurts someone

For kids, rudeness might look more like burping in someone’s face, jumping ahead in line, bragging about starting, etc. On their own, any of these behaviors could appear as elements of bullying, but when looked at in context, incidents of rudeness are usually spontaneous, unplanned inconsideration, based on thoughtlessness, poor manners or narcissism, but not meant to actually hurt someone.

MEAN = purposefully saying or doing something to hurt someone

The main distinction between “rude” and “mean” behavior has to do with intention; while rudeness is often unintentional, mean behavior very much aims to hurt or depreciate someone. Kids are mean to each other when they criticize clothing, appearance, intelligence, coolness, or just about anything else they can find to denigrate. Meanness also sounds like words spoken in anger - - impulse cruelty that is often regretted in short order. Very often mean behavior in kids is motivated by angry feelings and/or the mis-guided goal of propping themselves up in comparison to the person they are putting down.Commonly, meanness in kids sounds an awful lot like:

“Are you seriously wearing that sweater again? Didn’t you just wear it?”

“You are so fat/ugly/stupid/etc.”

“I hate you!”

BULLYING = intentionally aggressive behavior, repeated over time, that involves an imbalance of power.

Experts agree that bullying entails three key elements: intent to harm, a power imbalance and repeated acts or threats of aggressive behavior. Kids who bully say or do something intentionally hurtful to others and they keep doing it,with no sense of regret or remorse – even when targets of bullying show or express their hurt or tell the aggressors to stop.

Bullying may be physical, verbal, relational or carried out via technology:

Physical Aggression:this kind of bullying includes hitting, punching, kicking, spitting, tripping,hair-pulling and a range of other behaviors that involve physical aggression.

Verbal Aggression:is what our parents used to advise us to “just ignore”. We now know that despite the old adage, words and threats can, indeed, hurt and can even cause profound, lasting harm.

Relational Aggression: is a form of bullying in which kids use their friendship or threat or taking their friendship away to hurt someone. Social exclusion,shunning, hazing and rumor spreading are all forms of this pervasive type of bullying that can be especially beguiling and crushing to kids.

Cyberbullying: is a specific form of bullying that involves technology. According to Hinduja and Patchin of the Cyberbullying Research Center, it is the “willful and repeated harm inflicted through the use of computers, cell phones and other electronic devices”. Notably, the likelihood of repeated harm is especially high with cyberbullying because electronic messages can be accessed by multiple parties, resulting in repeated exposure and repeated harm.

Bullying STOPS here Pledge:

NCVBC will be requiring all NCVBC team members to read, sign and return the Bullying STOPS Here Pledge to their coach.

Club Policy on Bullying:

NCVBC takes bullying behavior very seriously. Our club policy is as follows:


First Offense: Warning/Suspension

Second Offense: Suspension

Third Offense: Expelled from Club  


Many thanks to Signe Whitson, a School Counselor and National Educator on bullying prevention. She is the author of four books including 8 Keys to EndBullying: Strategies For Parents and Schools and Friendship & Other Weapons: Group Activities to Help Young Girls Cope With Bullying. For additional information and workshop inquiries, please visit www.signewhitson.com. To download a free activity to help teach kids the critical differences between rude, mean, and bullying behavior, please visit http://signewhitson.com/resources/is-it-rude-is-it-mean-or-is-it-bullying/


Portions of this article are adapted from 8 Keys to End Bullying:Strategies For Parents and Schools, Copy write 2014 Signe Whitson, used with permission of the publisher, W.W. Norton.


  • Gold Medal Squared Elite Volleyball Training
  • Aries Apparel
  • Global Youth Athlete
  • Nike
  • Bullying STOPS Here